my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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