i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
