I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
