That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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