i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
