We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
