why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
