Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize