I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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