I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
