just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
