she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
