I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
