On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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