I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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