Don't you send me to vm
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
