Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
