can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
