I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
