I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
