There was a lot of him and a little penis
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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