tell your sister to shave her snatch
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
