My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You made out with two different species that night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
