I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
