I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
