If i come over, it means nothing
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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