I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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