this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
