i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
