I'm so fucking centered right now
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize