There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
