I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
