My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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