Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
