Say something about gay babies.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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