I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
