hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
