john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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