So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
