you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
