My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
