I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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