went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
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Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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