In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
