Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
