adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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