how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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