I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Randomize
