I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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