they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
