There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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