Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize