Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
His nipple licking is glorious
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