i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
