found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he just fucked me for my cheese..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
