awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
