what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
